Is it Love?

I have come to realize over the years how important prayer is in the life of a believer. The sermons on prayer that tell us we only use prayer when things are going wrong are not entirely true. For those who know how to pray, prayer is a daily sometimes multi-daily thing. What is in my heart is prayer for our young adults who think they are in love. By the way, at what age do we consider a person an adult? When they can make decisions? When they find a job or continue school, or move out on their own? For some maturity comes quickly. I remember leaving my parents home at age 18 and never looked back,that is to move back home. No matter what the situation, I was determined to make it on my own. But in doing that I had some bumps and bruises along the way. Does a person’s age necessarily constitute adulthood? At 18 I was much more mature than my 26 year old counterpart. (Typically girls mature faster.) Now I’m dealing with something and praying that these people will hurry up and grow up. The ying and yang of young love is wearing on me and I’m so tempted to put an end to the Romeo and Juliet syndrome. But who am I to interfere?

Time for A Second Act

Amidst the sad faces, the tears and the long dialogue the unspoken questions hung on the tips of everyone’s tongue. The beginning of the end was here. In an agonizing decision to step down from the pastorate and let another lead, my husband the great teacher, trainer, and educator was himself tearful as he explained to the church the proper protocol for his retiring from ministry. The discussion had already taken place with his family and the jurisdictional bishop. The thoughts and concerns of the members were taken into account. After all had been said and concerns were aired,one wise saint asks “What is it that you want to do? What is the Lord telling you about us, the church?" As the pastor bravely stood there trying to explain, the Lord allowed me to prophetically see some things. It would be alright. Dismantling a ministry was not what he wanted and he adjured the saints to stay to make the transition easier. What had happened, what went wrong, why was he having to step away from something he loved, the people the teaching? It’s not easy to say goodbye to loved ones, but in order for the next phase to take place saying goodbye to a pastorate was quite necessary. Two thoughts developed throughout the discussions. One) My husband had so often bragged on the saints; his members, about how strong they were in the word and just anybody would not be able to come and minister to them. They had to really bring it… Two) He knew that the members would not be there forever. Some of the members had come for edification, for training and would move on to the office in which the Lord would allow them to flourish. That had happened on several occasions throughout his pastorate. The revolving door swung wide. A number of reasons surfaced involving who would use that revolving door. But how do you tell your beloved you do not want to burden them, that there is a remedy. In all of the talk I myself wondered if the saints were seeing the bigger picture. We had been trained well and somewhere in the world the students were waiting for the teachers to show up. And now with his decision to retire as pastor my husband would be freeing the well trained members to go into any arena and exercise their gifts. So now the tears that I had only seen on one other occasion would fall, but in relief that he had done what the Lord had told him to do. And now it was time for his second act because God was not through with him yet. It’s so hard to say goodbye.

Tardy for the Party

If you're following the "Tardy for the Party" saga on the Real Housewives of Atlanta you'll know that there has been a real issue with Kandi collecting producer points on the song. Royalties were paid to her as a 1/3 publishing partner but seems there was no agreement for payment for producer credits. If you've ever attended one of my music business seminars you would have heard me speak on the issue of royalties; who gets credit for what. More importantly who gets paid! Kandi was relying on Kim to do the right thing because of their friendship. Because they didn't sign an agreement Kim choose to take all that she felt she was entitled. As the producer, arranger, singer and publisher Kandi's expectations were quite ambitious. I've discussed this too. If you find someone who allows you to be all of that you stand to make a pretty good piece of change. As for Kandi's relationship with Kim, she's not going to burn those bridges. She's no dummy. Even though Kim can't sing worth a lick - she has showmanship and tenacity. Don't cry for Kandi RHA fans, she'll make a pretty good sum on the next Kim snaffu. And the next time she'll get it in writing.

Sometimes I wonder how it is that people become dream stealers, career crushers, imitators. Never before have I payed much attention to these kinds of people because I didn’t think I ever had anything worth stealing or imitating. But now I know that there are a few who would like to be me. Not like me, but me. Yes I said it. There are a few copy cats out there with my MO. Even now I don’t let it bother me because I know that the truth will shine through. I remember some years ago when I approached a record producer about recording my group. He was into recording choirs so I made the intros and made it happen. I worked on the project to help it come to life. At the end of the session and the records were pressed, I looked for my name in the credits. Hmmm there were special thanks but no producer credits. That credit was given to the choir director. Again when I wrote a song for a major choir I listed the musicians that collaborated with me as I am a fair person. When the royalties were being distributed and the credits were given, one of the musicians was awarded a third of the song. Hmmmm! Now I don’t think as highly of myself as I should but I was perturbed that my work was being claimed by another. Who does that?
This afternoon as I watched cable access I listened to the VP of Tyler Perry Studios as he introduced Kim Fields Morgan, a recipient of the Trailblazer Award for Film I had a thought. Mrs. Fields-Morgan was being honored for her 30 year career in film and it was fitting that the VP of Tyler Perry Studios make an introduction as she is now directing the sitcom from that studio, “Meet the Browns”. My interest followed the story of her career and her work ethic on the set.
I think now of the few kids in my after school program that clamor for attention from anyone who walks through the door. One little boy is a pro at this to the point that he's downright aggravating. He attempts to gain all of the attention as the older children amuse themselves with distractions. I get annoyed sometimes because he interferes with the other children getting their proper time and attention while in my care. Ms. Fields-Morgan the story goes on is on the set of Meet the Browns and one of the extras is over zealous. Before Kim rushes in [angrily] to correct the situation someone else intervenes. I thought of how sometimes we let people get away with stealing our dreams and our goals by not “correcting them”. Today we say “checking them”. If it were not for the Kim Fields Morgan’s of the world who fight for the underdog and the integrity of a scene all of the scene stealers would go on their merry way, content that they have stolen something from someone that they want to be. My motto after having many scenes stolen from me is---make 'em work for it and move to the side so Kim can see them trying to steal your scene.

Perry's Film Another One in a Series of Male Bashing

Okay so the much publicized movie "For Colored Girls" has hit the theaters. It is amazing the various perspectives reported by men and women. The men regard the movie as another one of those "male bashing pieces" designed to put the brothers down. Hmmmm! First, isn't Tyler a man? He simply took the original production of "For Colored Girls who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enough" and brought it to the screen. The poetry and dialogue is mostly written by women. I saw the original play years ago and found it quite entertaining. I especially loved the dialogue from Loretta Devine toward the end of the movie...he's taken my stuff...I kept waiting for her to finish the poem with "you've taken my heart, give it back put it down", but oops that was a line from one of my poems. That part didn't dawn on me until 2:30AM. But to say that the movie was about male bashing is an understatement. Brothers we love you-sometimes to death. But until we as women learn to love ourselves and respect one another you'll find our love is limited where you are concerned. The movie depicted the struggles women face when they love a black man; particularly one who is broken. Not all brothers need to be fixed, but some do and to say that we bash you is your opinion. We long for a relationship where the drama is limited to mediocre things. But rape, murder, theft are huge and cannot be swept under a rug no matter who commits these atrocities toward women. I love black men, have always loved black men, am married to a beautiful black man and have raised two black sons. When we are wrong we need to accept the help from strong black women. Do you get me? We can't keep silent when you continue to hurt us.

And the Survey Says…

Recently I had an opportunity to spend a little quality time with my grandson. I watched him as he laughed and played and climbed on top of furniture and pushed and pulled every button on every electronic gadget in the house. Wow! What a little learner I thought. At 20 months he has become more aware of the things in his environment and that things will work for you. He also understood that you have to push some buttons to make the things work. He is not in a private daycare, as a matter of fact I encouraged his mother to not place him in daycare until he is at least three years old. In his home there is lots of play, lots of talking and lots of love. He is encouraged to develop and I would imagine often imitates the actions of his older aunts and uncles with whom he lives.
In this age of intellect and technology the rush to be prepared to compete on a global level has gotten way out of control, in my opinion. One would think that the sooner you get your child involved in a learning environment the better. Hmmmmm! I have a few thoughts about that too.
It is easy to find parents and teachers who agree that starting a child in daycare at a later age is a better proposition. However growth and learning, according to school reforms, suggests that children entering kindergarten should have had the benefit of a structured early childcare experience. By the time a child enters kindergarten he has been stripped of the wonders of learning; learning through experiencing his environment, learning through play, beginning fine and gross motor skills, and developing his communication skills. How many times have we as teachers said, "that's too much talking, hush, shhhhhh, get your work done, stay in your seat" (guilty). We find that curriculum is structured to enhance learning; but at what cost to the child?
We take the rights of children away by imposing on them every new theory, every new curriculum and every new technological gadget. Always playing catch-up and never mastering what really works for children our educational systems are blundering. Have we progressed past the point where the teacher is the authority in the classroom and understands best, what works for her particular group of students? We train teachers, don’t we? I've noticed an early trend to begin rotating children to other teachers on the grade level in order to have "like" groups working together. Now here is the problem I've seen with this. At an early age the child really does not understand that he is supposed to know more than what he knows. He in fact, is penalized for not knowing enough. While the teacher stands on the sidelines shaking her head mumbling, "I could do a better job with this group if you let me", students are shuffled off to the next waiting teacher.
By strategically planning, schools are given the "blue print for education" how this is accomplished is seen in a number of ways. One chooses to believe that the plans can be altered to fit the specific needs of the student when current plans don't work. Hmmmm. Do we see educators as the catalysts for educational growth and change? Classroom teachers should be involved in the design of curriculum and practice. The travesty in some reform is that it dictates to communities of learners how and when they will learn. Changes that accumulate one on top of another should be dissected and examined for relevancy. Each government builds on layers of modification without submitting to the previous reforms. Rapid succession of instructional reforms brings abut new laws, regulations and additional reforms. What is reform? Reform is improvement, reorganization, restructuring, modification, transformation, change. Reform is only necessary when a society evolves to the next plateau, i.e. farming to industry to intellect.
The development of young children should not be sacrificed for the sake of competition. We certainly don't want to "dumb it down" but the original purpose of kindergarten may not be relevant in some communities; transitioning immigrant children into a western society. In the 1870s William T. Harris, Supt. of St. Louis Public Schools, harshly stated that kindergarten was "the salvation of the children of the slums". Today kindergarten is available to all classes of children. The nurture, inclusion and transition from one culture to another should remain for immigrant students and the socialization of the kindergartener should not be stripped away. Pre-Kindergarten has become the new Kindergarten and Kindergarten now addresses the curriculum of the first grade. A return to some of the practices of readiness might yield better learners if they are encouraged through their play to cooperate, share , listen, explore, invent and communicate with the world.
Although we promote readiness at early ages, children will only go so far before shutting completely down. Look at the statistics in other aggressive countries!

What Do You Want Me To Do

Every now and then the Lord sends a truly anointed vessel to encourage the body of Christ. This anointing spills over and affects all in close proximity. One anointed vessel can change an entire nation let alone, an entire city. Things happen in the spirit before they are manifested in the natural. Let he who has an ear to hear [and eye to see] listen. This weekend was filled with such an unusual anointing for praise. Being obedient to the Lord is so necessary in order to advance to the next level. In advancing to the next level one should be mindful that the blessings are not for you alone. Just as every negative thing we do affects others, so does every righteous thing. Doing good unto others or, “paying it forward” as we say today has never left a dry man thirsty or a starving man hungry. It should be a desire to do good to all men.
When we listen to the voice of Christ, aren’t we prepared to follow his instructions? Churches would be filled with thirsty, hungry men and women if we listen to the voice of God and follow his directives. When someone says praise the Lord, does that mean now or later for you. Is the praiser asking you to greet him back with the same command, or is he asking you to actually praise the Lord? When we stand before God’s people and say “Praise the Lord Saints”, do we want them to praise Him right then and there or are we simply greeting the body. If the latter is the case simply say, “Greetings saints, peace be unto you.” (Something I heard as a child growing up in the Pentecostal church.) The saints would reply, “Peace be multiplied.” In my home church after the benediction has been given, we hug, kiss and leave the building. We normally continue our conversations outside of the sanctuary. There’s nothing special about this.
This particular Sunday the Lord was not finished with us. After an excellent worship and praise time, a rhema word from the speaker, prayer and anointing of the parishioners we were ready to follow the norm. But oh, somebody had had a break through, much like the one I had the previous day. Recognizing this and listening to the woman of God who was instructed to lay hands on the rejoicing saints, we got back into worship mode. “I hear the Lord say I see you,” she started. “I see you all. “Praise me and give thanks,” the Lord spoke through her. Well needless to say most stood around looking until praises started flowing. We praise you Lord, You are awesome, you are special, you are altogether lovely, we adore you, you are a friend, and we love you for your many blessings. Sounds like praise to me. The next time someone stands in the pulpit and asks us to praise the Lord – let’s not greet them, but let’s do as instructed. Praise the Lord? Praise the Lord.

Should Old Acquaintances Be Forgotten?

Terry McMillan, a favorite urban writer commented on her Facebook page that "by the time we reach our fifty's we pretty much have made the friends that we will have for life." I tend to agree. That circle of friends who have known us the longest, who don't judge our every move also applauds our successes. This fantastic group of friends may not be a very large group, but it is a manageable one. I further agree that sometimes it seems hard to let new people in because we already have that circle of people that we can trust. Even though we have grown apart, there is a common thread that reminds us of those friends who helped make us what we are today. I longed to reconnect with my line sisters and Facebook was one of the tools that would make that possible. A few weeks ago I wrote to a couple of my sorority sisters in an attempt to catch up. When we started connecting it was thrilling. On my next trip home I was able to briefly visit with one of my sisters. Another soror finally figured out I was one and the same person showing up on her Facebook page under a pseudonym. She called and we talked for a long time, laughing and getting caught up. I asked each of the sorors if they had been in touch with others and how could I reach one of my favorite line sisters. I went on Barb's page and found her. Another exciting conversation and happy reunion. The morning that I rose feeling a need to reconnect with my old friends was no coincidence. When the third soror told me that she had been living in my city for the past month, on assignment from her job, I couldn't believe it. She was right under my nose for the past month and I didn't know it. Or did I? There is a strong bond between your natural sisters as well as with your sorority sisters. Having all my sisters with me has given me such an unexplainable boost and confidence. And so to all of my dear friends near and far I say thank you for loving me and considering me a friend.

In Retrospect

Last night as I prepared for sleep, all of the days events and conversations came up for review. I thought about one conversation about how I should settle on something and do that well. The advice was given in love and I received it as such. But as I delved further into that statement I found some shocking evidence that warrants my propensity for multi-tasking.

Everything that I now do has assigned destiny and purpose. It seems at first that I am doing too much, spinning my wheels and engaging in multiple tasks and ventures. BUT everything that I now do has a specific purpose. It is not that these tasks are ongoing, I have taken on the characteristics of a serial entrepreneur, utilizing all of my skill set. Some will not understand the assignments given to me and may feel that I am hopeless. But I do know that I can turn to scripture to support my own behavior.
I have an advantage because I talk to and listen to my Father. It is his will for this time, He says to me, that I will accomplish great things in your life. I have promised and I will bring it to pass. I am the Lord Jehovah.

Understanding that my life was designed to touch lives from various walks, I must study and learn more about people and their way of life to reach them for Christ. God reminded me that in every facet of my life He was been there guiding me, encouraging me to do well with the gifts he has given. For this I can only exclaim, WOW! My Father has invested so much in me, who am I to sit down on the talents he has nurtured.

Now, I am reminded of an internet legend of how God gave the races talents and asked them to go and do something with those talents. The story states that every race except one was fruitful and duplicated the talents (money). "Sadly, God looked at His people and said, 'With what you have done with your talents, you may as well have buried them in the ground. Because of your slothfulness and lack of good stewardship, I will give your future talents to those who have the least. You have gravely disappointed me by not adhering to one of my most important admonishments: To whom much is given, much is expected.' "

This I Know

I was stumped for a minute, but today while meditating I read a passage from Success! The Glenn Bland Method. I've had this book in my library for many years and every now and then I'll read it to refresh myself of the biblical truths Mr. Bland speaks. His words were dear to me and caused me to do some light reflection on the turn of this season in my life. Glenn spoke to me when he said, "If you have a genuine thirst for opportunity, then you must launch out confidently, leaving the details of providing for the necessities of life to the spirit within you." He goes further to quote Matthew 6:25-33. At evening prayer tonight my spirit quickened when I thought about how the Lord is orchestrating a few things in my life. No one can do it better and this I know.

Make the Johnny Cake Birthday Coming

When the enemy Comes in Like a Flood...

When the enemy comes in like a flood, God says he will lift up a standard. I thought about this paraphrased scripture as I reflected on my day. As a potential juror on a case that involved an employee dispute I realized early that I would not be an impartial juror. So stating this I was struck from the roster. When I looked into the eyes of the plaintiff and saw her dismay, fear and distrust I paralleled it to my own of several years ago. I too was at odds with an employer who simply refused to play fair. It is a crushing thing to have your livelihood taken away resulting in the loss of almost everything you owned. How could someone be so deceitful and greedy to the point of crushing the little guy. Ah, the little guy - defending the little guy is what I am noted best for doing. So the defense would not have had a chance with me on the jury. God says he will fight your battles if you hold still. It took a minute for me to hold still, but I trust the plaintiff will let the Lord do her fighting through the attorney. Our Father is merciful, gracious and kind and when we rely on Him we are guaranteed a fair and bountiful life. Through it all I have learned to trust God and the blessings I now reap far out weigh the salary I lost.

You spend the morning working on some writings, cleaning up a few contracts and you're high on the very thought that someone values what you do. Then you have an epiphany. Although you think your stuff is the bomb and there is no one who can do it quite like you, you are startled by the fact that indeed others can do what you do. Some can do it even better. But that does not stop you from moving ahead because what you want to say and what you want to do is an expression of yourself. Even though there may be others who write better, manage better, look better - you are convinced that there is a space in this life for you to create. And so you borrow the phrase, "I can... because I am."

Water seeks its own level, thank you for helping me rise!

Disclaimer

The advertisements posted on the Orientation blog are not necessarily endorsed by the Orientation creator.

Incognito Bourgeoise Teens

There are some comments on Facebook that I don't bother to read because I know its only going to urk me! I run from the comments by teens who have invented their own brand of communicating. Ah, not that teens shouldn't have their own way of talking to one another, but would you please stop perpetuating the myth that African Americans are stupid. Use what you learned in school because you know you're an "A" student. Hmmmm!I'm just saying.

Gabourey Hosts Saturday Night Live

I saw a commercial that Gabourey Sidibe was hosting the Saturday Night Live Show. Although I missed the original broadcast, I was able to see the show through the wonders of Comcast On Demand. Gabourey was kinda funny and the multiple characters she played let us know that she just may have acting chops. Or...was she just be silly? She stumbled on some of her lines, and appeared to struggle a bit in some of the many scenes she was cast. She made up for it with her conviction to the role of the moment. From the Jamaican nurse to the gray haired woman in the window (which I thought was really funny), to the sassy Valley Girl selling alarm clocks Sidibe did her thing. That infectious laugh you could hear in the background during scenes she was not in let everyone know Gabby was in the house. I didn't quite understand the connection with the blond haired former boyfriend who was trying to woo her back to him. That was just dumb, unless of course they were trying to say Gabby digs European men.

Finders Keepers, Losers Don't Talk On Cell Anymore

While running errands today I found a cell phone lying on the ground as I exited my car. This is the second time this has happened. Expensive phones just lying around waiting for someone to pick it up and make it their own. Gee! A Blackberry! What a nice find. Even better than the slide phone I found at the airport.

Okay, airport, lost phone on ground probably dropped by a hurried traveler. While driving away from drop off I played with the phone trying to see if there was any kind of ID posted somewhere. Um got myself a nice phone. NOT. I knew that I would at least attempt to call someone from the contact list as I did with this one. The only difference is this time I accepted the reward and made a special request of the owner who wanted to give me more.

No problem, just pray for my favorite charity while you're at church tomorrow. Cocking his head to one side the appreciative gentleman was about to ask how I knew about church. His contact list was loaded with deacons and a pastor. Just pray for The Association of Gospel Songwriters. He searched for something with which to write. The Association of Gospel Songwriters, TAGS I repeated. Pray for this org. Yes I will he smiled and thanked me again. No problem, it was my pleasure.

Dreams

What is it about dreams that consume us? Sometimes they serve as a warning or even as an outlet for our deepest desires. Although lately a few nightmares have had me sweating in my sleep and almost crushing my mate with a run-away arm. I wonder if nightmares serve the same purpose as dreams?

One night my husband had a terrible nightmare about me. A couple of nights later my own nightmare was the answer to his. I knew what it was, it was a trick of the enemy to get us fighting and accusing one another. I quieted my spirit and decided to pray this, "no weapon formed against us shall prosper."

Hollywood Meets Gabourey

Gabourey Sidibe is an absolute force with whom to be reckoned. Her swagger is infectious, not to mention that million dollar laugh. I think when people see "Gabby" they see a personality more so than the weight she carries. She certainly has Hollywood on its heels, and could possibly be the one to help change the nauseous, neurotic image of certain Hollywood starlets. Just give me a movie with a great plot, great characters, and awesome music and I'm "all in". To Gabourey I say, do your thing young lady. Give us all something with which to work.

Catching Up with Sunday

It is difficult for me to get to sleep every Saturday night. I decided I would take a little something, something to help me doze off. I was so relaxed that I slept through the entire night. When I awakened I was surprised that my husband was still in bed. Glancing at the clock I noticed it was way pass his normal time to prepare for church. “Hey”, I nudged him, “Aren’t you getting up?” My reason for nudging him was purely selfish. I wanted the bathroom all to my self as I prepared to shower and dress for church. Man! Now I’m going to have to share the bathroom with him. Oh well I trudged to the bathroom to begin the routine. Still he hadn’t moved. I looked at the clock again. Hmmm, that’s not like him to sleep in on a Sunday. Peeking at him resting and peaceful it suddenly dawned on me, oh my gosh it’s Saturday! I had lost an entire day, not to mention a sleep aid that I would need for tonight! Oh well, I crawled back into bed and went soundly back to sleep.